A S I C K B O Y ' S S E L F P O R T R A I T b y w o b b ------------------------------------------------------------- I've always been such a sick boy. One look at me is enough to see how terrible I've become. How could anyone possibly love me? I feel like I'm barely a human anymore. Even though everyone tells me it will get better, to be honest, I don't really want that. It feels comfortable staying here It's all I've ever known. I love this. ------------------------------------------------------------- Every time I look in the mirror, I hate it. I don't even want to see myself anymore. I hate how I don't look like you. You might think you're nothing special, But to me, you're the image of perfection. I've lost myself in trying to become you. I can't be a perfect replica of you. But for some reason, I keep trying. ------------------------------------------------------------- I realized that I don't have a reason for living, apart from you. What would happen to me when you're finally gone from my life...? You're the only thing holding my life up. If you were to disappear, I think I'd die. Ahaha, I can't believe I'm relying on someone else this much... I'm so pathetic. ------------------------------------------------------------- Even though I always say we'll be together forever, every time I try to imagine a future with you, it has a sad ending. No matter what, you'll leave me behind. I guess deep inside, my mind still knows how to be realistic. I'm dreading the day that happens. ------------------------------------------------------------- I wonder, if I show people how sick I am, will they love and pity me? ------------------------------------------------------------- Sometimes, I'm a monster to you. I know. It's like I get possessed by someone other than me. Or more like something that's been hiding inside me. I go on a rampage, destroying everything in my path. By the time I come to my senses, the damage is already done. I'm so ashamed of myself. ------------------------------------------------------------- My entire existence is pathetic. ------------------------------------------------------------- I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU PLEASE LOVE ME PLEASE LOVE ME PLEASE LOVE ME PLEASE LOVE ME PLEASE ------------------------------------------------------------- You are the worst thing to ever happen to me. If it weren't for you, I'd probably be doing better right now. It's because of you that I'm so troubled by everything. I know one day you'll get out of my life. When's that day going to come?! I hat e y o u. ------------------------------------------------------------- I spent the night with some other guy. Must be the tenth one this month or something. He didn't make me feel a single thing. Neither did the last one, or the one before that. There's something wrong with me. I always feel so empty... It hurts. I thought I could fall in love and everything would be fine. But it never happened. Maybe my love died. ------------------------------------------------------------- I don't want to be here any longer... I can't stand being empty all the time. You know that feeling all too well, don't you? We can be sick together. Yes... We have something in common! Pure darkness... shared by the two of us... Please, drag me down deeper. ------------------------------------------------------------- If nobody will love me, what's the point? -------------------------------------------------------------